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Joce-lyn
All I yearn, is for the love of someone, coupled with the love from my sibling and parents. And to me, true love is when one sees an imperfect person perfectly. Which is what I see in you. The degree of the love that I have for you, I will learn from my past mistakes and make myself better for you. Just you. Then again, maybe I'm never the one. I'm not perfect, nor am I good in any sense.
Actions never coincide with words, and thoughts never coincide with either. That is, if you ever get past the first sentence.
It happened twice in a week in quick succession. What the hell is this? If you want to plan a day with your friend, fine by me. Even your ex-boyfriend, of which I just tell myself that he is just a friend still to you. But where is the basic respect and courtesy in actually letting your better half know of your plans so that they can plan their own day?
If I didn't ask, you won't tell me anything. I don't happen to do that to you. When I plan a day with my friend, I would inform you as soon as I get to know about it and ask of your opinion and if you have any plans. Why? Because you still come before my friends. It's as simple as that. I don't expect you to ask me for permission to go out with your friends, but it's just basic courtesy to let the other party know of what you are doing. But you just go on ahead, doing your thing and letting me know the last, and only if I ask you of your intending plans. Might as well that I just become a friend and nothing more than that right?
Is that what you are telling me? If you don't even grant me the basic respect as someone closer to you, then who am I exactly to you? But strangely speaking, you just plod on as if nothing has happened. Sometimes I seriously do wonder if you are just acting dumb or really just not even considering me anymore. And my sole defense is that when I'm pissed, I just like to keep quiet. Why? Because I don't want to lash out at you for something like that! Is there a point in me venting my frustrations upon you? No. Is there any imaginable benefit for me to do so? No as well. But I don't know how to phrase my sentences right in such a scenario. It might even come off as unreasonable at that point in time with raised voices.
I don't want to hurt you with words that I can never retract, so I just keep quiet. Yes, you cry. But I don't even want to say anything still. It's not that I don't bother or notice you. I just have nothing to say because I'm THAT preoccupied with what the hell you are doing. Sure, you tell me that you love me. And this is what you do? By letting me know at the last minute and only when I ask of what your impending plans are?
Tell me what you want exactly and who I am to you. I believe that I'm not asking for a lot. It's just basic respect and courtesy. Familiarity breeds contempt. In this case, I actually feel that you are just taking me for granted. So if I did the same to you, would you not feel the same as well? Would you not be worried that if something should happen to me, you would not be able to trace me? That is how I feel goddamnit. You just don't see it until now do you?
I just want to say that I'm fine even if you go out with Calvin. I'm fine that you go out with Sze Ying and whoever else. I'm fine. I don't place restrictions on where you go or who you go out with because that is your life and I want you to be happy. But at least keep me informed so that I can find you should anything happen. It's that simple. And if you make plans beforehand, just let me know so that I can plan for myself too. I put you first before anything, but I don't see the mutual respect being reciprocated. Go figure.
If I didn't ask, you won't tell me anything. I don't happen to do that to you. When I plan a day with my friend, I would inform you as soon as I get to know about it and ask of your opinion and if you have any plans. Why? Because you still come before my friends. It's as simple as that. I don't expect you to ask me for permission to go out with your friends, but it's just basic courtesy to let the other party know of what you are doing. But you just go on ahead, doing your thing and letting me know the last, and only if I ask you of your intending plans. Might as well that I just become a friend and nothing more than that right?
Is that what you are telling me? If you don't even grant me the basic respect as someone closer to you, then who am I exactly to you? But strangely speaking, you just plod on as if nothing has happened. Sometimes I seriously do wonder if you are just acting dumb or really just not even considering me anymore. And my sole defense is that when I'm pissed, I just like to keep quiet. Why? Because I don't want to lash out at you for something like that! Is there a point in me venting my frustrations upon you? No. Is there any imaginable benefit for me to do so? No as well. But I don't know how to phrase my sentences right in such a scenario. It might even come off as unreasonable at that point in time with raised voices.
I don't want to hurt you with words that I can never retract, so I just keep quiet. Yes, you cry. But I don't even want to say anything still. It's not that I don't bother or notice you. I just have nothing to say because I'm THAT preoccupied with what the hell you are doing. Sure, you tell me that you love me. And this is what you do? By letting me know at the last minute and only when I ask of what your impending plans are?
Tell me what you want exactly and who I am to you. I believe that I'm not asking for a lot. It's just basic respect and courtesy. Familiarity breeds contempt. In this case, I actually feel that you are just taking me for granted. So if I did the same to you, would you not feel the same as well? Would you not be worried that if something should happen to me, you would not be able to trace me? That is how I feel goddamnit. You just don't see it until now do you?
I just want to say that I'm fine even if you go out with Calvin. I'm fine that you go out with Sze Ying and whoever else. I'm fine. I don't place restrictions on where you go or who you go out with because that is your life and I want you to be happy. But at least keep me informed so that I can find you should anything happen. It's that simple. And if you make plans beforehand, just let me know so that I can plan for myself too. I put you first before anything, but I don't see the mutual respect being reciprocated. Go figure.
I messed this area @
22:42
22:42