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April 2011
Joce-lyn
All I yearn, is for the love of someone, coupled with the love from my sibling and parents. And to me, true love is when one sees an imperfect person perfectly. Which is what I see in you. The degree of the love that I have for you, I will learn from my past mistakes and make myself better for you. Just you. Then again, maybe I'm never the one. I'm not perfect, nor am I good in any sense.
Actions never coincide with words, and thoughts never coincide with either. That is, if you ever get past the first sentence.
miracles do happen. when you choose to believe the wrong 'thing' or even worse, PERSON, miracles would not happen then. miracles are all around you if you know where to look. look around and see the beauty of the world. it itself is a miracle. and i love it.
mark my words. miracles do happen everyday. because i believe in the right PERSON to guide me, i grow satisfied each day anew. pity you dont see shit, and worse, believe in the WRONG PERSON to guide you to form you into HIS view. wrong PERSON to trust, in my opinion.
what a pity. i dont bow down to others, i dont suck up to others, and i dont compromise my morals just to please others. what a shame i dont see that in you anymore. its a real big shame. im lucky i made the right step and learned wrong from right.
and this is where i know that i am right. and it is lucky for me as well. you took my bait. grabbed down on it and didnt even realise that it was my hook that you grabbed on to. lol. lucky that i still hadnt let feelings could my sense of judgement yet. almost, but not yet.
the bait was just too juciy to pass up yes? and the PERSON nudged 'dragged' you along in the way HE wanted it to be. wonderful. it proves that you are just like any other person. my good fortune put me 2 steps ahead, to test the waters and the character of the other PERSON. beautiful.
mark my words. miracles do happen everyday. because i believe in the right PERSON to guide me, i grow satisfied each day anew. pity you dont see shit, and worse, believe in the WRONG PERSON to guide you to form you into HIS view. wrong PERSON to trust, in my opinion.
what a pity. i dont bow down to others, i dont suck up to others, and i dont compromise my morals just to please others. what a shame i dont see that in you anymore. its a real big shame. im lucky i made the right step and learned wrong from right.
and this is where i know that i am right. and it is lucky for me as well. you took my bait. grabbed down on it and didnt even realise that it was my hook that you grabbed on to. lol. lucky that i still hadnt let feelings could my sense of judgement yet. almost, but not yet.
the bait was just too juciy to pass up yes? and the PERSON nudged 'dragged' you along in the way HE wanted it to be. wonderful. it proves that you are just like any other person. my good fortune put me 2 steps ahead, to test the waters and the character of the other PERSON. beautiful.
I messed this area @
00:43
00:43
im torn inside. i really am confused now. my emotions take over entirely at times. yet, my brain tells me otherwise. at meetings, i can suddenly think about you and stone, blocking out information being traded past me. at times, i can be so dedicated to my work, blocking out the entire world.
i need to focus on my job. but sometimes, i just cant focus and my thoughts shift towards your direction. do you even know it? do you even care? lol... questions, will always be questions. i have questions, but i cant ask them. even so, at least i know the answer to my heart and my brain.
am i seriously going mad? i have no idea. i really have no idea.
i need to focus on my job. but sometimes, i just cant focus and my thoughts shift towards your direction. do you even know it? do you even care? lol... questions, will always be questions. i have questions, but i cant ask them. even so, at least i know the answer to my heart and my brain.
am i seriously going mad? i have no idea. i really have no idea.
I messed this area @
22:27
22:27
everything is a facade. its all just a game. its not whether you win or you lose. its how you play the game and come out looking good. the outcome doesnt matter. never has.
i chose already not to play the game. i forfeit. its not that im not willing to go on. i have lost faith in the game, is all. i need faith, above all, to go on.
but at least, i gained self satisfaction from here on. i grow more satisfied with the work that i put out. i take pride in my work, making sure that it is perfect in all aspects. when a copy of my work goes out from me, it has to say what i think, not what someone else thinks for me. in that, i am unrelenting. my team may call me a bastard, but thats ok. i make sure that there are results and results only.
i chose already not to play the game. i forfeit. its not that im not willing to go on. i have lost faith in the game, is all. i need faith, above all, to go on.
but at least, i gained self satisfaction from here on. i grow more satisfied with the work that i put out. i take pride in my work, making sure that it is perfect in all aspects. when a copy of my work goes out from me, it has to say what i think, not what someone else thinks for me. in that, i am unrelenting. my team may call me a bastard, but thats ok. i make sure that there are results and results only.
I messed this area @
15:13
15:13
im fucking pissed off with work. ni nah bu. everything leave me to do. fucked up. i have to do so much already, and still im getting piled on with more work. because my colleagues just wont work hard at all.
FUCK!!!
your memories still haunt me. but i have no choice. i'll keep those memories of the times we shared. each and every one of them. even if i tell myself that i have moved on, i know that deep within my heart, i have not. i still care. love is very subjective. it doesnt depend on how much the other loves you, but how much you love and care for the person. i know i still hold the same feelings. i think from my heart, not my mind. even when i drive, i still think of the times that you spent beside me, holding my hand...
but who am i to say much? either way, without you, i tell myself to move on in my mind and to pursue my dreams instead. the next thing that makes me happy. driving long distances. with nothing much in the way to tie me down now, i start to move around and make my future what i envision it to be as a single person. if i am still with you, i will not even consider it at all. for i treasure family above all, but now, there is only MY family to worry for. not one that i will evantually create, as i thought it to be. after all, it was just an illusion right? rigggggghhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttt........................
im just deluding myself, but it works. i dont know how long this facade will last, but im playing it by ear now... if i run out of time on this, i will just have to think of a new facade to replace this one. its all in the mind isnt it? i'll just pretend im happy when im not, smiling when im hurt inside.
FUCK!!!
your memories still haunt me. but i have no choice. i'll keep those memories of the times we shared. each and every one of them. even if i tell myself that i have moved on, i know that deep within my heart, i have not. i still care. love is very subjective. it doesnt depend on how much the other loves you, but how much you love and care for the person. i know i still hold the same feelings. i think from my heart, not my mind. even when i drive, i still think of the times that you spent beside me, holding my hand...
but who am i to say much? either way, without you, i tell myself to move on in my mind and to pursue my dreams instead. the next thing that makes me happy. driving long distances. with nothing much in the way to tie me down now, i start to move around and make my future what i envision it to be as a single person. if i am still with you, i will not even consider it at all. for i treasure family above all, but now, there is only MY family to worry for. not one that i will evantually create, as i thought it to be. after all, it was just an illusion right? rigggggghhhhhhhhhhtttttttttttttttt........................
im just deluding myself, but it works. i dont know how long this facade will last, but im playing it by ear now... if i run out of time on this, i will just have to think of a new facade to replace this one. its all in the mind isnt it? i'll just pretend im happy when im not, smiling when im hurt inside.
I messed this area @
19:01
19:01
if you could go back in time and change anything, what would you change?
i wouldn't change anything. if i did, then i wouldn't be here typing this question. i could be dead. i could be paralysed. anything could happen to me. i am happy with what i have. and that, is the trick to life. be happy with what you have. find out what makes you tick and go on. what about the pain and suffering that i went through in the past? yes, i would still go through it again to get to where i am now. the past, as experience, shapes one's mindset and teaches new things to the person in question. i would not change one single bit in my past, just because it was ugly. in fact, ugly is only what you see it to be. understand it, and look within to see its beauty.
pain, hurt, joy, happiness. feelings shape the outcome of what one does. it does not mean that from happiness will come success either. like me, some twist pain and hurt into success. the future in is your own hands. it is how you make it out to be. the book is yours to write. whether you write a sad story, or a happy story, you are the creator, the writer, the author. no one can take that pen away from you. whatever has a starting point, will have an ending point.
there is no truism in life either. believe in what you choose to believe. thoughts are the most powerful objects in the history of mankind. thoughts bring about ideals, ideas, and thus, actions should one take the leap of faith. i believe in creating my future for myself and my family. to protect them from what may arise. it is my family whom i care for only. no one else. i do not believe in what people deem love for a sweetheart already. the realism is just not there. i make my own successes, i live my own failures.
i grow strong in my own way. i pave my own path. love is something that i cannot commit to. it is not the fear of having to commit, but it is the lack of faith in and of it. i rely on myself to bring about happiness for my family, and thus, myself to live my dreams as well.
i wouldn't change anything. if i did, then i wouldn't be here typing this question. i could be dead. i could be paralysed. anything could happen to me. i am happy with what i have. and that, is the trick to life. be happy with what you have. find out what makes you tick and go on. what about the pain and suffering that i went through in the past? yes, i would still go through it again to get to where i am now. the past, as experience, shapes one's mindset and teaches new things to the person in question. i would not change one single bit in my past, just because it was ugly. in fact, ugly is only what you see it to be. understand it, and look within to see its beauty.
pain, hurt, joy, happiness. feelings shape the outcome of what one does. it does not mean that from happiness will come success either. like me, some twist pain and hurt into success. the future in is your own hands. it is how you make it out to be. the book is yours to write. whether you write a sad story, or a happy story, you are the creator, the writer, the author. no one can take that pen away from you. whatever has a starting point, will have an ending point.
there is no truism in life either. believe in what you choose to believe. thoughts are the most powerful objects in the history of mankind. thoughts bring about ideals, ideas, and thus, actions should one take the leap of faith. i believe in creating my future for myself and my family. to protect them from what may arise. it is my family whom i care for only. no one else. i do not believe in what people deem love for a sweetheart already. the realism is just not there. i make my own successes, i live my own failures.
i grow strong in my own way. i pave my own path. love is something that i cannot commit to. it is not the fear of having to commit, but it is the lack of faith in and of it. i rely on myself to bring about happiness for my family, and thus, myself to live my dreams as well.
I messed this area @
23:43
23:43
wah! just got busy with work! sianzzz...
work piling up real fast, work ain't slowing down... nuts...
looks like my ability to go for a trip is half smashed. going to be busy for quite a while... at least i will be occupied then...
work piling up real fast, work ain't slowing down... nuts...
looks like my ability to go for a trip is half smashed. going to be busy for quite a while... at least i will be occupied then...
I messed this area @
23:31
23:31
I just realized something. Never, should you, ever say never. For it is not of your choosing that something contrary to what you speak happen.
You will NEVER know what will happen. You will NEVER know what may happen. You will NEVER be certain that you know what is happening around you at all times.
This word, so oftenly used, oftenly misinterpreted and misused. Never defines something that would not, in any possible scenario, occur. Never is a word that, in my opinion, someone who is insecure or possessing the inability to think logically would use. It is a harsh word. It should NEVER be used in the context that it has in the world today. The word 'Never' has lost its sense of usage to people who do not fully understand its immense reprecussions.
In human faith I have lost my trust in the words spewn out. Someone who tells me NEVER is not one to be trusted, for any amount of time, they may go back on their word. Words will forever be mere words, unless supported by actions themselves. And even then, actions have to prove conclusively that they are in full coherence to the words spoken. If the words and actions of a particular person cannot reconcile, then there is no reason to even begin trusting.
Therefore, as a precaution, NEVER should you use the word never toward me. It has lost all its meaning by all those who have brought words to its current stand in society. Making them, just words.
You will NEVER know what will happen. You will NEVER know what may happen. You will NEVER be certain that you know what is happening around you at all times.
This word, so oftenly used, oftenly misinterpreted and misused. Never defines something that would not, in any possible scenario, occur. Never is a word that, in my opinion, someone who is insecure or possessing the inability to think logically would use. It is a harsh word. It should NEVER be used in the context that it has in the world today. The word 'Never' has lost its sense of usage to people who do not fully understand its immense reprecussions.
In human faith I have lost my trust in the words spewn out. Someone who tells me NEVER is not one to be trusted, for any amount of time, they may go back on their word. Words will forever be mere words, unless supported by actions themselves. And even then, actions have to prove conclusively that they are in full coherence to the words spoken. If the words and actions of a particular person cannot reconcile, then there is no reason to even begin trusting.
Therefore, as a precaution, NEVER should you use the word never toward me. It has lost all its meaning by all those who have brought words to its current stand in society. Making them, just words.
I messed this area @
11:59
11:59
work beckons... it sucks, but it must be done. at least, thats how i go about.
i got no life outside my cubicle... thats a sign i need to find for myself to hang in my cubbyhole...
i got no life outside my cubicle... thats a sign i need to find for myself to hang in my cubbyhole...
I messed this area @
11:51
11:51
TGIF! another week come and gone. the weekend is here and i can relax. or so i think. may work on saturday anyway... my work will always be more important that anything else. i take pride in serving up a nice piece of work rather than a sloppily done article.
i believe in myself, in God i trust, my air to move on.
i believe in myself, in God i trust, my air to move on.
I messed this area @
19:35
19:35
Whee! My hp just hanged again... then my Nuvi... damn...
trying all the time to sync my messages to my Nuvi, it can receive the messages, but cannot send out. damnit. Garmin also some cock shit, advertise that it can pair seamlessly even for SMS, but in the end, also cannot. send them email, take 5 days to reply, say that either my hp cockup, or that the problem will be addressed in firmware upgrades at an unspecified time in future.
fuck.
Son By Four - Purest of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you
But there's something baby that you need to know
That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking
Chorus
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
I wish I can tell you that I'm feeling better everyday
that I didn't hurt when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you, it's all that I'm asking
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice
Coco Lee - Baby, I'm Sorry
听到我的电话响了一生就暂停
会不会是你我总怀疑
因为这原因心情不稳定
我们之间的问题是我不相信你
敏感又多心怕你变了心
因为爱你害怕失去你
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
自从那天分手后停不住泪滴
想念一个人
能忘记自己让我爱你什么都愿意
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
如果能在遇见你把你抱紧
从此步分离决不放弃我要告诉你
os:baby i‘m sorry
trying all the time to sync my messages to my Nuvi, it can receive the messages, but cannot send out. damnit. Garmin also some cock shit, advertise that it can pair seamlessly even for SMS, but in the end, also cannot. send them email, take 5 days to reply, say that either my hp cockup, or that the problem will be addressed in firmware upgrades at an unspecified time in future.
fuck.
Son By Four - Purest of Pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice
I know how many times I said I'm gonna to live without you
And maybe someone else is standing there beside you
But there's something baby that you need to know
That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you it's all that I'm asking
Chorus
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
I wish I can tell you that I'm feeling better everyday
that I didn't hurt when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way
That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you, it's all that I'm asking
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
Baby, give me back my fantasies
The courage that I need to live
The air that I breathe
Livin' without you, my world's become so empty
My days are so cold and lonely
And each night I taste the purest of pain
I'm sorry I didn't mean to call you
But I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak and couldn't even hide it
And so I surrender just to hear your voice
Coco Lee - Baby, I'm Sorry
听到我的电话响了一生就暂停
会不会是你我总怀疑
因为这原因心情不稳定
我们之间的问题是我不相信你
敏感又多心怕你变了心
因为爱你害怕失去你
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
自从那天分手后停不住泪滴
想念一个人
能忘记自己让我爱你什么都愿意
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
(baby)想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意(如果没有你)
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
如果能在遇见你把你抱紧
从此步分离决不放弃我要告诉你
os:baby i‘m sorry
I messed this area @
03:36
03:36
memories still come back. in dreams or not, they are there. and they just won't go away...
I messed this area @
05:19
05:19
im running, running far, running the way.
run with me baby, and we'll go places.
baby, in this context, would be a Freightliner Cascadia.
auto transmission and all the works.
yep, im aiming to get one with a sleeper cab.
run with me baby, and we'll go places.
baby, in this context, would be a Freightliner Cascadia.
auto transmission and all the works.
yep, im aiming to get one with a sleeper cab.
I messed this area @
03:51
03:51
Dreams are just dreams right? They can't do anything nor prevent anything from happening right? It just seems so weird.
Twins - 星光游乐园
就像星星落在地面七彩闪烁世界
游乐园颜色像卡片
旋转木马带我们在飞我的手让你牵
爱情原来是最香浓咖啡杯
摩天轮里面独处的时间
我心情游客谁都了解
背包的左边票根的背面
我趁你不注意偷偷写下心愿
期待今夜天空星星不熄灭
在心里约定陪你到永远
抬头看一遍星星眨眼
现在你就在我身边
我祈祷就让地球停在这瞬间
不聊天静静散步也很美
抬头看一遍你的侧脸
想到微笑挂你唇边
la~~~~~~~
就像城堡前的花园
爱这幸福感觉
能不能这样都不变
拍张我们合照的相片
野火停在天边
你的好也停在我的心里面
爆米花香味带着一种甜
喜欢你开心大笑的脸
背包的左边票根的背面
我趁你不注意偷偷写下心愿
期待今夜天空星星不熄灭
在心里约定陪你到永远
抬头看一遍星星眨眼
现在你就在我身边
祈祷就让地球停在这瞬间
不聊天静静散步也很美
抬头看一遍你的侧脸
想到微笑挂你唇边
我期待今夜天空星星不熄灭
在心里约定陪你到永远
抬头看一遍星星眨眼
现在你就在我身边
la~~~~~
Twins - 星光游乐园
就像星星落在地面七彩闪烁世界
游乐园颜色像卡片
旋转木马带我们在飞我的手让你牵
爱情原来是最香浓咖啡杯
摩天轮里面独处的时间
我心情游客谁都了解
背包的左边票根的背面
我趁你不注意偷偷写下心愿
期待今夜天空星星不熄灭
在心里约定陪你到永远
抬头看一遍星星眨眼
现在你就在我身边
我祈祷就让地球停在这瞬间
不聊天静静散步也很美
抬头看一遍你的侧脸
想到微笑挂你唇边
la~~~~~~~
就像城堡前的花园
爱这幸福感觉
能不能这样都不变
拍张我们合照的相片
野火停在天边
你的好也停在我的心里面
爆米花香味带着一种甜
喜欢你开心大笑的脸
背包的左边票根的背面
我趁你不注意偷偷写下心愿
期待今夜天空星星不熄灭
在心里约定陪你到永远
抬头看一遍星星眨眼
现在你就在我身边
祈祷就让地球停在这瞬间
不聊天静静散步也很美
抬头看一遍你的侧脸
想到微笑挂你唇边
我期待今夜天空星星不熄灭
在心里约定陪你到永远
抬头看一遍星星眨眼
现在你就在我身边
la~~~~~
I messed this area @
19:54
19:54
"If you really want love in your life, you must be willing to spend a little time with love's less comfortable relatives, anger and pain. It's common to think that with anger and pain come breakup and divorce. But the bottom line is the more you love someone, the more able they are to piss you off. So be aware: Anger and intense emotion are normal when you truly love and care."
Wow... that seems so oxymoronic. if you love and care, you should get angry more often? weird... anyway, i had more than my fair share of anger...
"Remember, true strength is being able to work through the anger rather than letting the anger work through you."
I'd like to learn how, but who do i go to and learn from?
Wow... that seems so oxymoronic. if you love and care, you should get angry more often? weird... anyway, i had more than my fair share of anger...
"Remember, true strength is being able to work through the anger rather than letting the anger work through you."
I'd like to learn how, but who do i go to and learn from?
I messed this area @
12:43
12:43
The dreams arise again. i guess i'll just let it be. it seems so weird, so enchanting. my brain could be overworking itself. lol...
Boyzone - Everyday I Love You
I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you
'Cus I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you more
Everyday I love you
'Cus I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you
Boyzone - Everyday I Love You
I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn something new
Everyday I love you
'Cus I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you more
Everyday I love you
'Cus I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you
I messed this area @
12:45
12:45
i just realised something. there were so many plans made. but few achieved succession. is it human nature to give up so easily?
Ratatouille, Hot Fuzz, Die Hard 4.0. these plans, all now, seems like a foggy haze covering it. plans are easily made. succession of the plans are harder to achieve. it never was easy to make things go according to plan.
the dreams are never ending. well, i guess i'll let it be. i'll take this part with me. it seems like thats what im left with, and i guess i am happy with it. is this a message from God? is this just my subconsciousness kicking in? is this the first sign in showing that i am indeed growing mad?
i'll let time tell the tale. i guess burying what knowledge i have is not as easy as i thought it would be. i guess all i can hope for now is just that i can go over to US and get my CDL. driving long routes was always my passion anyway.
no one knows what will happen. maybe i'll fall through the ice while trucking in NWT Canada. maybe i'll be lucky and get saved by a fellow trucker. maybe, i won't even be able to go to US and get my CDL even. predicting the future is a very iffy proposition. naturalism has a way to fuck up the most well laid plans, and to give chance more than a 50-50 balance. unpredictable. intangible. untouchable.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the city of angel
Lonely as I am, together we cry
I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy
I never worry, now that is a lie.
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way, yeah, yeah, yeah
It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe that I'm all alone
At least I have her love, the city she loves me
Lonely as I am, together we cry
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way, yeah, yeah, yeah
oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah
love me, I say, yeah yeah
One time
(under the bridge downtown)
(is where I drew some blood)
is where I drew some blood
(under the bridge downtown)
(i could not get enough)
i could not get enough
(under the bridge downtown)
(forgot about my love)
forgot about my love
(under the bridge downtown)
(i gave my life away)
i gave my life away yeah, yeah yeah
(away)
no, no, no, yeah, yeah
(away)
no, no, i say, yeah, yeah
(away)
Here I stay
Ratatouille, Hot Fuzz, Die Hard 4.0. these plans, all now, seems like a foggy haze covering it. plans are easily made. succession of the plans are harder to achieve. it never was easy to make things go according to plan.
the dreams are never ending. well, i guess i'll let it be. i'll take this part with me. it seems like thats what im left with, and i guess i am happy with it. is this a message from God? is this just my subconsciousness kicking in? is this the first sign in showing that i am indeed growing mad?
i'll let time tell the tale. i guess burying what knowledge i have is not as easy as i thought it would be. i guess all i can hope for now is just that i can go over to US and get my CDL. driving long routes was always my passion anyway.
no one knows what will happen. maybe i'll fall through the ice while trucking in NWT Canada. maybe i'll be lucky and get saved by a fellow trucker. maybe, i won't even be able to go to US and get my CDL even. predicting the future is a very iffy proposition. naturalism has a way to fuck up the most well laid plans, and to give chance more than a 50-50 balance. unpredictable. intangible. untouchable.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Under The Bridge
Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the city of angel
Lonely as I am, together we cry
I drive on her streets 'cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills 'cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds and she kisses me windy
I never worry, now that is a lie.
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way, yeah, yeah, yeah
It's hard to believe that there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe that I'm all alone
At least I have her love, the city she loves me
Lonely as I am, together we cry
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way
Well, I don't ever want to feel like I did that day
Take me to the place I love, take me all the way, yeah, yeah, yeah
oh no, no, no, yeah, yeah
love me, I say, yeah yeah
One time
(under the bridge downtown)
(is where I drew some blood)
is where I drew some blood
(under the bridge downtown)
(i could not get enough)
i could not get enough
(under the bridge downtown)
(forgot about my love)
forgot about my love
(under the bridge downtown)
(i gave my life away)
i gave my life away yeah, yeah yeah
(away)
no, no, no, yeah, yeah
(away)
no, no, i say, yeah, yeah
(away)
Here I stay
I messed this area @
04:17
04:17
damn it. my left eyelid keeps twitching. superstition says that its someone thinking about you... LOL...
and the dreams are not stopping, not slowing down. it gets into different scenarios every single time. damn. its just so vivid, so realistic. its incomprehensible. literally.
i really am lost in my mind. its just spinning out of control. and theres not a single damn thing that i can do about it.
and the dreams are not stopping, not slowing down. it gets into different scenarios every single time. damn. its just so vivid, so realistic. its incomprehensible. literally.
i really am lost in my mind. its just spinning out of control. and theres not a single damn thing that i can do about it.
I messed this area @
19:30
19:30
everyone thinks im mad. either that, or they think im up against God and testing His will. well, whatever they think, i want to achieve what i set forth in front of me.
im not mad, i am totally rational. i just have dreams which are, albeit, more unconventional.
driving the Ice Roads is not a bad thing. yes, its dangerous, where the ice crackles and if you are unlucky, cracks and then your rig drops into the frigid lake. chances of survival are virtually nil. the weather is so cold, that a banana can become a hammer, literally. the molecules inside the banana will freeze up and harden...
at temperatures of -35F, what chance of survival outside your rig is almost zero. except for the happenstance that another rig is close by and can pick you up. with breakdowns, one better hope that their power to the heater is not lost.
i want to live this dream, to make it happen. i want to be part of this family where i constantly am travelling. i cherish my freedom to move, and i am not letting it go to waste. and i have to start by finding out how i can emigrate over to US to get my Commercial Driving License Class A-X/T. X refers to the licensee being able to carry Hazardous Materials and Tankers combined, with T referring to the licensee being able to haul more than one trailer at any one time.
I seriously wonder how much a rig is going to cost me. i intend to own a truck. Maybe a Volvo, Mack, Kenworth, Sterling or Freightliner.
im not mad, i am totally rational. i just have dreams which are, albeit, more unconventional.
driving the Ice Roads is not a bad thing. yes, its dangerous, where the ice crackles and if you are unlucky, cracks and then your rig drops into the frigid lake. chances of survival are virtually nil. the weather is so cold, that a banana can become a hammer, literally. the molecules inside the banana will freeze up and harden...
at temperatures of -35F, what chance of survival outside your rig is almost zero. except for the happenstance that another rig is close by and can pick you up. with breakdowns, one better hope that their power to the heater is not lost.
i want to live this dream, to make it happen. i want to be part of this family where i constantly am travelling. i cherish my freedom to move, and i am not letting it go to waste. and i have to start by finding out how i can emigrate over to US to get my Commercial Driving License Class A-X/T. X refers to the licensee being able to carry Hazardous Materials and Tankers combined, with T referring to the licensee being able to haul more than one trailer at any one time.
I seriously wonder how much a rig is going to cost me. i intend to own a truck. Maybe a Volvo, Mack, Kenworth, Sterling or Freightliner.
I messed this area @
23:11
23:11
Been watching Ice Road Truckers... its about big rigs driving across roads 'made' primarily out of ice (frozen lakes) so as to be able to transport machinery and supplies over to the diamond mines up Canada's north. based in Yellowknife, Northwesteren Territories, 18 wheelers are loaded up and sent on their way across 350 miles of frozen lakes towards the diamond mines. the rewards are great, the risks greater.
driving across ice is a constant fear, considering that the ice can go apart anytime under the great weights. the ice constantly crackles, reminding the driver who is boss for the entire trip. ice thickness depends on weather, and loads for the rigs are based on how thick the ice can be. temperature levels of -35F are common, being as low as -41F is always likely.
somehow, i dont mind getting into this line of work. it just isnt my type to stay at an office all day. i like to travel. i do wonder how i am able to go into USA, get a license and drive a rig. driving the semis in Singapore to Malaysia is not even half as good as driving on of the 18 wheelers across USA.
it sure seems like a good way to start by seeing how i can emigrate to US and get a license there. and every winter, i'll be in NWT Canada learning to drive the Ice Roads. when i can, i'll be there. its a dream, a goal. something i would want to achieve.
driving across ice is a constant fear, considering that the ice can go apart anytime under the great weights. the ice constantly crackles, reminding the driver who is boss for the entire trip. ice thickness depends on weather, and loads for the rigs are based on how thick the ice can be. temperature levels of -35F are common, being as low as -41F is always likely.
somehow, i dont mind getting into this line of work. it just isnt my type to stay at an office all day. i like to travel. i do wonder how i am able to go into USA, get a license and drive a rig. driving the semis in Singapore to Malaysia is not even half as good as driving on of the 18 wheelers across USA.
it sure seems like a good way to start by seeing how i can emigrate to US and get a license there. and every winter, i'll be in NWT Canada learning to drive the Ice Roads. when i can, i'll be there. its a dream, a goal. something i would want to achieve.
I messed this area @
12:39
12:39
damnit... im starting to procrastinate again. its so easy to do, considering...
but hey, my life is all about procrastinating isnt it? lols... that is what makes life interesting when others start to bark at you...
but hey, my life is all about procrastinating isnt it? lols... that is what makes life interesting when others start to bark at you...
I messed this area @
20:37
20:37
damn i still cant sleep early. i just cannot fall asleep.
maybe its the paranoia of the dreams. maybe its something else. lol. i dont know...
maybe its the paranoia of the dreams. maybe its something else. lol. i dont know...
I messed this area @
05:53
05:53
you know that funny weird out of body feeling?
yeah, im feeling it right now...
yeah, im feeling it right now...
I messed this area @
03:35
03:35
Today would have been another happy day. But I guess that its past eh?
I need to run to Malaysia again. Im bored in Singapore. I need to run free and far. And that is all I know. Just to run free and far.
World of our own - Westlife
You make me feel funny
When you come around
Yeah that's what I found out honey
What am I doing without you
You make me feel happy
When I leave you behind
It plays on my mind now honey
What am I doing without you
Took for granted everything we had
As if I'd find someone
Who's just like you
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you
Well I guess I'm ready
For settling down
And fooling around is over
And I swear it's true
No buts or maybes
When I'm falling down
There's always someone who saves me
And girl it's you
Funny how life can be so surprising
I'm just realising what you do
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you
Well it's feeling right now
So let's do it right now
Praying that some how
You will understand the way
It's feeling right now baby somehow
I won't let this slip away
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you
I need to run to Malaysia again. Im bored in Singapore. I need to run free and far. And that is all I know. Just to run free and far.
World of our own - Westlife
You make me feel funny
When you come around
Yeah that's what I found out honey
What am I doing without you
You make me feel happy
When I leave you behind
It plays on my mind now honey
What am I doing without you
Took for granted everything we had
As if I'd find someone
Who's just like you
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you
Well I guess I'm ready
For settling down
And fooling around is over
And I swear it's true
No buts or maybes
When I'm falling down
There's always someone who saves me
And girl it's you
Funny how life can be so surprising
I'm just realising what you do
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you
Well it's feeling right now
So let's do it right now
Praying that some how
You will understand the way
It's feeling right now baby somehow
I won't let this slip away
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
What am I doing without you
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
We got a little world of our own
I'll tell you things that no one else knows
I let you in where no-one else goes
And all of the things I've been looking for
Have always been here outside of my door
And all of the time I'm looking for something new
What am I doing without you
I messed this area @
23:31
23:31