November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
September 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
August 2006
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
December 2008
January 2009
April 2009
July 2009
August 2009
October 2009
January 2010
April 2011
Joce-lyn
All I yearn, is for the love of someone, coupled with the love from my sibling and parents. And to me, true love is when one sees an imperfect person perfectly. Which is what I see in you. The degree of the love that I have for you, I will learn from my past mistakes and make myself better for you. Just you. Then again, maybe I'm never the one. I'm not perfect, nor am I good in any sense.
Actions never coincide with words, and thoughts never coincide with either. That is, if you ever get past the first sentence.
reflecting further in the day, i just don't know anymore. i wish we can talk it out. that the problem can be solved. how much of a jerk i am, i know. i aware. and i am sorry if that has offended you. i didnt realise that it would take an adverse effect just to show what i thought of on that day. i want to know the reason too. that cannot be the only one. not just that. of that i am certain.
the will to live is diminishing by the minute. break down and cry. too tired to cry. too sad to feel anything. just feeling numb all over my body. i feel that i have let you down so. and in that case, tell me. and i will end my life for that.
you are my all, and letting you down so, is the same as cheating on you. and no, i will never cheat on you. the mix created is toxic, and even so, my life is nothing without you. my life is not a life anymore. its just mere existence in this morbid world, full of hopes and dreams while i wander about aimlessly, just waiting, waiting, for that special day, that the soul is released from this body and i am free. the night i pray, is the night i leave. permenantly.
the tears in my eyes will not leave, nor will the visions vanish. tears are welling up again. i guess its time to leave and start the entire process of breaking down again. my mind is just white now. seeing nothing. noticing nothing. the guilt in me is up again. i feel useless. unworthy of this life that God has passed to me. maybe it'll end soon. maybe.................
the will to live is diminishing by the minute. break down and cry. too tired to cry. too sad to feel anything. just feeling numb all over my body. i feel that i have let you down so. and in that case, tell me. and i will end my life for that.
you are my all, and letting you down so, is the same as cheating on you. and no, i will never cheat on you. the mix created is toxic, and even so, my life is nothing without you. my life is not a life anymore. its just mere existence in this morbid world, full of hopes and dreams while i wander about aimlessly, just waiting, waiting, for that special day, that the soul is released from this body and i am free. the night i pray, is the night i leave. permenantly.
the tears in my eyes will not leave, nor will the visions vanish. tears are welling up again. i guess its time to leave and start the entire process of breaking down again. my mind is just white now. seeing nothing. noticing nothing. the guilt in me is up again. i feel useless. unworthy of this life that God has passed to me. maybe it'll end soon. maybe.................
I messed this area @
20:01
20:01