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Joce-lyn
All I yearn, is for the love of someone, coupled with the love from my sibling and parents. And to me, true love is when one sees an imperfect person perfectly. Which is what I see in you. The degree of the love that I have for you, I will learn from my past mistakes and make myself better for you. Just you. Then again, maybe I'm never the one. I'm not perfect, nor am I good in any sense.
Actions never coincide with words, and thoughts never coincide with either. That is, if you ever get past the first sentence.
wahahaha... today we have to report to work early, and go back late!!!!! what the hell?? somemore no OT pay leh... hmm, wonder if it was a mistake to come back and work... aiya, decision made already, so no choice.
same thing, arrived at work late as usual. what you want me to do? i cannot sleep coz every night im thinking about L. wah lau... shes like occupying my mind even more than what my studies can handle. but either way, i made it to work so freaking early, and then open shop at 11.30... haiz... waste my time leh... but the statistics for today was 1 laptop, 1 handycam, 2 Hi-MD players, 2 CD players... wah... on cloud nine sia. today luckily for me, i didnt go out to smoke. and best thing was, im slowly learning to accept her as a friend instead of someone who is close to me. so today didnt really think much about her, except on those occasions when i see couples together and when im not busy. shit, i still hope to God that i can have her back. and thing is, she says that i changed so much that she cannot accept me back. like what kind of reason is that? if you love someone, however much that person changes, you will still love him. and i have this feeling to give her up there and then. but i guess my heart is still attached to hers, so im not willing to give up.
but anyway, im now experiencing something which i havent felt in a while. freedom. freedom to do whatever i want, answering to no one and to make things out as i wish them to be. the time alone gives me that freedom. and now, im thinking that if i never am attached anymore, i will keep a simple life. work in the day, go home and eat sleep and bathe and crash into bed. sound monotonous, but i like familiarity. maybe its because im hurt so much by her that i feel like i have lost the power to love someone else. and that i will always compare things such as the way she walks to the other. and im afraid to hurt another person. and i dont want to.
i went back from work and then talked with my sister... she kind of advised me on some things. and its like i just have to take it easy. coz she has already said not to wait for her. and thats the same as telling me that she will not change who she loves. but tell me, if that someone gives her up, should i try to win her back? my sis says no, my friends say no, and my colleagues say no. but i feel that i should say yes. should i? or should i not? i dont know, and i dont care anymore. i guess when the time comes, i will consider then. but not now. for now, i want that freedom being able not to answer to anyone as to where i am and what im doing. but i guess if she comes back and if im unattached, i will consider. not a straight yes or no. but i will consider.
so anyway, its late already and im tired. i think im off to bed already. and then, im gonna be plagued by her someday. the memories will come back and bite me in the ass big time. damnit...
same thing, arrived at work late as usual. what you want me to do? i cannot sleep coz every night im thinking about L. wah lau... shes like occupying my mind even more than what my studies can handle. but either way, i made it to work so freaking early, and then open shop at 11.30... haiz... waste my time leh... but the statistics for today was 1 laptop, 1 handycam, 2 Hi-MD players, 2 CD players... wah... on cloud nine sia. today luckily for me, i didnt go out to smoke. and best thing was, im slowly learning to accept her as a friend instead of someone who is close to me. so today didnt really think much about her, except on those occasions when i see couples together and when im not busy. shit, i still hope to God that i can have her back. and thing is, she says that i changed so much that she cannot accept me back. like what kind of reason is that? if you love someone, however much that person changes, you will still love him. and i have this feeling to give her up there and then. but i guess my heart is still attached to hers, so im not willing to give up.
but anyway, im now experiencing something which i havent felt in a while. freedom. freedom to do whatever i want, answering to no one and to make things out as i wish them to be. the time alone gives me that freedom. and now, im thinking that if i never am attached anymore, i will keep a simple life. work in the day, go home and eat sleep and bathe and crash into bed. sound monotonous, but i like familiarity. maybe its because im hurt so much by her that i feel like i have lost the power to love someone else. and that i will always compare things such as the way she walks to the other. and im afraid to hurt another person. and i dont want to.
i went back from work and then talked with my sister... she kind of advised me on some things. and its like i just have to take it easy. coz she has already said not to wait for her. and thats the same as telling me that she will not change who she loves. but tell me, if that someone gives her up, should i try to win her back? my sis says no, my friends say no, and my colleagues say no. but i feel that i should say yes. should i? or should i not? i dont know, and i dont care anymore. i guess when the time comes, i will consider then. but not now. for now, i want that freedom being able not to answer to anyone as to where i am and what im doing. but i guess if she comes back and if im unattached, i will consider. not a straight yes or no. but i will consider.
so anyway, its late already and im tired. i think im off to bed already. and then, im gonna be plagued by her someday. the memories will come back and bite me in the ass big time. damnit...
I messed this area @
02:06
02:06